Breaking The Cycle: Tessa’s Story

Blog

Feb 25

Thanks to our caring donors, Tessa found more than therapy and support—she found strength, stability, and the tools to break the cycle of generational trauma and build a new legacy for her children.

“Before MAP, I was in survival mode 100% of the time. Since graduating, my boys have seen the difference and I know they’re proud of me. They tell me, Mom, I’m happier because you’re happier.”

– Tessa, MAP:Alumni
2025 Graduate

Before Tessa connected with Mother’s Advocacy Project (MAP), her life was incredibly difficult. She endured profound trauma that led to homelessness and the heartbreaking loss of custody of her two children, Xavier and Alonzo, for three years.

“When my kids came home, it was really difficult for our family to be together with all the unhealed trauma that happened in those three years,” says Tessa.

She remembers the moment she knew something had to change. Her son spilled something on the carpet, and before she could stop herself, she was yelling. In that moment, she heard the echoes of her own childhood—the painful recognition of a pattern repeating itself.

“I realized I was becoming the traumatic parent that my parents were to me when I was a kid,” says Tessa. She knew she needed support to break the cycle before it continued into another generation.

“Even though I had an apartment, there were still so many gaps,” says Tessa. “I didn’t have health insurance for my kids. I didn’t have proper after-school support. I didn’t have help addressing their trauma. I no longer had insurance for therapy, so my mental health suffered.”

Tessa heard about MAP through her children’s school and she couldn’t believe that such life-changing support was available to her completely free of charge.

And that’s thanks to the compassion of MAP’s donors like you.

“They provided transportation, diapers for my kids and all the essentials we my kids needed,” recalls Tessa. “They didn’t ask for anything in return except that we show up and try. At the time, I was in that gap—I didn’t need government assistance anymore, but I didn’t have enough money to continue my mental health care. MAP was that vital bridge.”

At the heart of MAP’s work is a program that brings together compassionate trauma counseling and practical, hands-on support. Mothers receive the care they need to heal from past pain while gaining the tools to build stable homes, steady employment, and stronger futures for their families. By combining counseling, advocacy, trauma education, and everyday life-skills training, we help families move beyond crisis toward long-term stability and renewed confidence.

“When I first got to MAP, we started with an intake process—figuring out where I was, what I needed, and how to stabilize my life,” explains Tessa. “Every week we sat down and we did smart goals, and every week we saw how much closer to that goal I got.”

Each phase of MAP’s three-phase model is designed to guide mothers through a specific stage of healing—from calming the body’s stress response, to processing trauma, to fully integrating that healing into daily life. Each mom sets her own goals and receives personalized support to move forward at a pace that reflects her growth and unique journey.

“Phase one was very important,” Tessa recalls. “It wasn’t traditional therapy—it was trauma-based education. I learned what trauma actually is, how it affects the body, our thoughts, our moods, and even how we parent from a place of trauma. No one had ever explained it to me like that before. I think focusing on what trauma is and then being able to talk about the trauma allowed me to build connection with everyone and the therapist so that they don't see me as a victim. They see me as someone that wants to survive and thrive.”

This ongoing support is made possible by our caring donors.

GIVE TODAY →

Tessa graduated from MAP in June 2025, and she continues to use the tools she learned every day: “MAP has definitely given me the tools to be more confident. In those moments when I feel frustrated with my kids, I let them know I’m feeling anxious and just need a deep breath—reassure them that it’s not their fault. It’s given me confidence in communicating with my kids.”

Through the MAP:Alumni Program, graduates like Tessa continue to access resources and attend special alumni events throughout the year, helping them build on their progress and stay supported long after graduation.

“I know if I were to have a crisis today and I would not be able to cope, I could reach out to the MAP staff and someone would assist me,” says Tessa.

Last September, Tessa and her boys were involved in a serious car accident. She credits the activities her boys participated in throughout the program for creating a safe space where they could express themselves freely.

“It was really scary, but it was amazing to see how my kids were able to share their emotions,” recalls Tessa. “They cried, talked about the accident, and even woke me in the middle of the night to tell me how they felt. It showed me that the MAP tools really work. Seeing this come full circle during a real crisis was incredible—my kids felt safe to open up and express themselves.”

MAP supported Tessa in finding a new school for her boys, one that offered more academic opportunities, and also helped her strengthen her resume and build the confidence to ask for a promotion at work—steps that brought her closer to her goal of homeownership. Today, she’s excited to share some wonderful news with you…

“In phase two of MAP, I set long-term goals, and I had two: to become a homeowner and to lose weight,” says Tessa. “I’m proud to say I’ve lost 25 pounds and my other goal of homeownership is coming true—we’re closing on our house in March! It was amazing to see how all the smaller goals I worked on through MAP, like improving my credit, managing my time, and advancing at work, came together to make this dream a reality.”

When Tessa brought Xavier, 10, and Alonzo, 7, to see their new home for the first time, they ran from room to room choosing their bedrooms and imagining all the sports they could play in the backyard and on the street.

“Now they love all these sports they’ve never even tried before! They want a trampoline in the backyard, a basketball hoop, and they want to play street hockey and soccer,” says Tessa. “Seeing them have these dreams in just that five-minute visit made it all worth it.”

Tessa says she has hope in knowing that generational change is possible.

“Even if I don’t plan every step of my kids’ futures, they now have the tools, resources, and support to overcome challenges and that’s what gives me hope,” says Tessa. “Their childhood is already so much different from mine. They’re getting so many life experiences that I could never even dream of.”

Transformations like Tessa’s are possible because of generous supporters, who help MAP fulfill our vision of breaking the intergenerational cycle of trauma in women-led families.